YOU MATTER!

YOU MATTER!

You think they are better

You think you are too flawed to be loved

You think you are too broken to be cherished

You think your mirror defines you

You think the mirror of other people’s eyes

Gives you the meaning of who you really are

Then let me tell you

You are the original of you

When i see you i see strength forged from raw experiences

When i see you, i see hope born out forbearing stormy waters

When i see your scars, i see bravery

When i see you, i see beauty

Let your experiences be the bedrock others can stand

And find support, that’s how valuable your story is

Don’t let them tell you anything less.

Find you and be you!

FIRST

Advent, 1Advent, Advent Candles

FIRST

The beginning of beginnings

The start of most things

The impression that counts but doesn’t neutralise

The product of reality time reveals,

The position that bears responsibilities

For both the male and the female,

The significant point in the lives of some,

For some it’s not significant

Because of the story that lay behind it,

It has borne pain and it has borne joy

It has ridden the storms of challenges

Leaving imprints of major irrevocable changes

It represents the start, it foretells an end

In time continuum, it almost makes no difference

For one knows not the exact of its onset,

The position men kill for

The position that mostly defies the natural order

Due to variables pertaining to human nature,

So much importance placed on it but

In the long run goes through the test of time and

This tries its resilience for maintaining initial impression

Grace appoints whom becomes it

Irrespective of the obvious qualification

First remains and represents first.

 

 

DON’T COLOR ME ANONYMOUS!

DON’T COLOUR ME ANONYMOUS

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I would love to be like Lagbaja, but my name is not Tamedu and neither is he my father. My father has a known name, just as his fathers before him and I have mine. The one people know me as, the one people often practice words and antonyms with and all other sort of things one could think of when my name is shortened, but never disregard. It’s such a shame that I thought of giving it up for the sake of expressing myself limitlessly. Hiding and running are two things that I have become effortlessly good at. I have continuously hid behind fancy metaphoric words instead of coming out straight to say exactly how I feel. I don’t want to have to explain my tiredness in colours unknown to people such as anonymous, so I could say the truth. Well, it’s not like I am a known liar. This is not to say I haven’t told any lies in the past.

Imagine the number of people I have to put into consideration when it comes to airing my thoughts and asking sincere questions. The urge to freely express myself overtook the necessity to live up to my personality. All of a sudden, I find myself feeling like an accountant with a secret need to splurge money. My three social media accounts express some aspects of me. On Instagram, I am the fine girl who posts pictures once in a yellow moon with cheesy captions. On Facebook, I am the Christian I should be. Writing positive words incorporated with the gospel of Christ which my everyday life should reflect and on WhatsApp, I am just the chick who shamelessly displays her love for poetry and paintings.  Oh yes, there’s Snapchat where the vain part of me is encouraged by the availability of many pretty filters. Mine is the garland (intertwined flowers that graces one’s forehead).

There’s another part I haven’t mentioned and that brings me to the reason for writing this. The fear of failing made me divide myself into two halves, so I would still have one if the other one sinks. I consider myself a childlike adult and the things I write are chronicles explaining different aspects of my life that people may or may not know. I created another Instagram page, just so I could write everything and nothing in particular as long as it means I get to air my thoughts. Sooner than later, I started obsessing about the likes and the follow figures. Also, went ahead to doubt myself and slid into a couple of D.Ms. It felt like this other person I created sucked and it affected her writings, while I in my entirety flourished with my upcoming book Art on a Sunday in the works.

I mean I can’t imagine not being wanted, being criticised for thinking normal thoughts as I should because of who the people perceive me to be. If I should start posting quotes on my personal Instagram page where I normally post pictures, people will start to wonder why the sudden interest in poetry. If I post pictures on my writing page, people would assume I am considering a deviation from the norm. God bless my soul if I ask a question about body changes when one starts having sex and reliable birth control pills, people automatically assume I have backslid and I am definitely having sex.

I have a lot of questions that don’t even all have to do with me, like why do people think decency and morals are related? Why must I break my back before my respect for someone older is recognised? Why are female dilemmas more projected than the silent wars men fight? Speaking of men, why do some act as if love is an evil spirit that quickly possesses a vessel? Don’t get me wrong, I am not anti-love? How did the Nigerian/Ghana Jollof rice war start? Will it ever end? Why don’t I know how to draw brows? Will I still be attractive to gawking men if I were as dark as the night? Would Osita Iheme make a good Tyrion if he was in Game of Thrones? What if Cinderella was a Yoruba girl? What songs will she have danced to with the prince? Would he be a Yoruba demon or an Igbo angel or a Hausa vessel possessed by the former two? Forget this silly thoughts of mine. Now to the real deal

I have things I want to talk about without being asked questions like “aren’t you supposed to be a perfect good example to the coming generation?” or be judged by self-righteous Christians who don’t know it’s not a religion, but a belief which is better expressed personally. I want to ask a lot of questions about being a Christian, my background aside; it is a lovely thing to be – Christ-like, living well and right. Why do things that are wrong feel so right? Especially when you seem to pray fiercely about it? What can one call a situation whereby someone receives a prophecy from a man or woman of God, but it does not happen? Why do people feel like pastors are people who rip off people in the name of the Lord? Why is it easy to believe that people have common sense, but it’s hard for people to believe that God is real? When they are both invisible? If seeing is believing then we should all doubt the existence of sense and probe every “wise” thing that has ever been said?

As a product of the church and the society, I wonder why the roles aren’t being reversed. Would the world be a better place if both sexes exchanged shoes? Will a man last in a woman’s shoes if he had to go through the pains of menstrual cramps and labour pains? Will a woman understand that although it doesn’t seem like the man is doing much that he is actually working his ass off? I am sorry, but I chose to use ‘ass’ because ‘buttocks’ will not quite hit home! He has to be a man; a strong hard man – not vulnerable, not emotional, forceful and inconsiderate. He doesn’t want to rape his wife, but the society says he owns her. “She is your property!” He wants to cry too when he is sad, but he cannot because women were born to shed tears in all situations. The man is either there to cause it or end it. The man is the head of his home, but the woman is not the slave. The man is the head of the home, but he is human too. He is not also the slave. The church teaches the man to take things by force, but no one ever emphasises the ‘love your wives’ part. Men hurt too. I wonder when the society and the church will learn that the world is fast evolving. The church is stuck with the Old Testament mentality and have even brought it into the era of Jesus Christ. The society is so ignorant that it has refused to realise that feminism is a movement for both men and women in the actual sense of it. Some have taken it to the extreme though, making it a platform to express their bitterness.

 

The government! Oh it makes me sick to think that I would serve soon and I might be roaming the streets with papers that I spent years to acquire and even when I write on papers, it’s disregarded. It makes me sick that when they pray in churches and Nigeria and the government are mentioned, people sound like they have suddenly lost their voices. It makes me sick because I have to either hide my identity or sugarcoat the bitter truth so it tastes like a sour sweet in the mouths of those deserving of it. Of course, I don’t want to be picked up from my house for speaking against louts in corporate wears or boxers in agbadas. I don’t want to be coloured anonymous so I could air my thoughts according to human rights

As a normal girl with feelings and the likes, I want to know a lot about relationships. I want to know why single girls give better advice about relationships more than people in relationships. Why do people think that insinuating things and sending songs is equivalent to expressing feelings out rightly? Why do people expect that the people they are talking to will grab what they are trying to say? How does one get shot at without being expected to fall? How is one expected to be complete when pieces of him or her are being stolen? I want to know about success and fulfilling purpose? I want to be able to say how I am feeling whenever I am feeling what I am feeling without being labelled one thing or the other? Why do people always feel that they can put out something in the public and not expect the public’s various responses? What does a degree matter? What if I am both book smart and skilled? Should one be forfeited or both should work together? I want to ask why one can’t just decide to stop being friends with someone when nothing positive is being gained without being tagged a friend with benefits as if that’s not what it is all about. Can one care about the physical without the emotional baggage attached without being tagged a slut?

I was going to open a blog, distant from my known personality, distinct from the anonymous one already existing as a result of fear. This is not to undermine anyone Sia-ing him or herself right now. I have realised that people find it more exciting to read about strangers who refuse to show themselves than known people. It’s true what they say, strangers are easier to talk to than known people, because strangers don’t judge (well, it’s not like they have anything to judge). I wonder why I have to paint myself blue to dance naked in the rain among other blue children, when all I want to be is red, seated on the window-side, observing blue children notice me looking at them dance. It’s hard even being true to myself at times, but the world is positioned in a way that the best thing to be is yourself. I don’t like myself at times and the decisions I make, but my name is my name and it’s mine to own till the day I return to my maker. It’s going to be rejected, scorned, accepted, adopted, cherished, but it will still be mine and it will be known to me and for this reason and more, as I scrubbed the fear off my body in the shower this morning, I told myself “Don’t colour me anonymous.”

As I air-punched all the things that make me angry as motivation to join fitfam. I wondered why I want to kill myself to wear a size 8 and less, when I wear a beautiful size 10. My head will be too big for my body. I was too eager to be someone I wasn’t born to be. I punched myself and said

“Don’t colour me anonymous”

I don’t know what colour you might be thinking on pouring on yourself for the sake of the general public, you need to stop. Nkan won ni ta! (things are expensive ni ita!)

Take the energy, spoil yourself and tell people what your name is. Kinta Kunte was proud of his name and he was fictional. What happened to you? What happened to me?

Don’t colour yourself anonymous, wear that name with pride – it is who you are and it is the label for the things you do.

“You are a star and you are gifted. Don’t colour me anonymous”

Wear your brand like it’s really expensive, because it is. Wear it and flaunt it for the gram, more importantly yourself.


Written by Adetutu Adedoyin, Senior Literary Editor (Core Magazine Africa)


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CHEATING IS NOT AN EXCUSE!

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I get upset when a man or woman cheats on their spouse and blames lack of love and attention for their misdemeanor. I mean, this is somebody that you say you love. Because he/she got too busy at work, a vacuum was created and you allowed/invited another person to come and fill that vacuum. And then you blame others for your error.

See, marriage cannot survive if the husband or wife has a ‘needy mentality’. As a husband, I should be able to say ‘I want my wife’s love and attention, and it’s only her attention that’s acceptable. Even if she denies me of it, not just anybody’s love and attention can fill it up, whether temporarily or permanently. It’s either hers or nothing.’ When we allow just anybody to fill the vacuum created by an unloving or inattentive spouse, it shows two things.

1) Weakness and lack of principles, because it was your decision to make. You were not forced.
2) It shows selfishness. You got into the marriage because of what you want, and not what you are desperate to provide. Now that your spouse isn’t doing/giving what you want, any other source will do.

Be careful not to get married to someone who is still at the stage of ‘I need you, I will die without you, I need you around me, I feel so lonely’. Such people may be in that relationship simply because they are afraid of being alone or simply because they need someone around them who always makes them feel accepted and feel good about themselves. That’s why when you stop supplying them emotionally, their need becomes much stronger and the attentions of that colleague at the office, that house-help, that choir member which were previously ignored now gain a new relevance.

Endeavor to marry someone who is at the stage of ‘I can do without you, but I don’t ever want to. I’m here to show you that I love you, and not just to be happy that you love me’. Such people have a self-esteem that doesn’t come from you. They are mentally strong and can do without being emotionally satisfied by their spouses. Their focus is so much on loving you, pampering you, caring for you that they don’t bother if you are not showing your love for the time being. They do what is right regardless of whether you are paying attention or not.

Cheating is hurtful, divorce is hurtful. Yes, nobody is perfect. Yet, we must not excuse what is wrong but we must face the brutal truth always. God bless you!

Pastor Anthony igbinosun

A BEND IN TIME

A BEND IN TIME

(The Situations that started out for the best but turned out as unexpected.)

Mountain Road, Winding Road, Travel

IN RETROSPECT;

Have you ever had your life so planned out and everything falling into place, going as planned as you wished only for everything to turn around and take a nose dive, crumbling within a second? Have you ever watched everything you have worked for crumble before you because of a variable that you didn’t see coming and never considered? Have you ever had your life so planned out only to realise that nothing ever worked out the way you planned or expected?  Have you ever experienced, a bend in time?

Well, in one way or the other we have experienced a bend in time and lots of us had to learn the hard way to face some situation, some resilient enough to rebuild while some gave in to the blow life dealt them expecting it as their fate. These lessons taught us that life doesn’t give us what we expect but what we demand whether we know it or not. The results we get come from what we give out through words, energy/force field, actions and so forth.  If this be the case why don’t we consciously choose the right words, exert the right positive energy with the necessary actions so that we can get the best of the result we expect?

HOW WE FEEL;

For those of us whom had our lives planned out and at the time we expected everything to fall into place and it all fell apart, how did we really feel? Did you feel numb because you were at loss about where to start from? Did it take a while before you could come back on track to plan again and to rebuild from a fresh perspective? Did you blame yourself over and over again because you kept thinking there was probably something you didn’t do right? How did we really feel?

WAY FORWARD:

So life and fate decided to play a fast one on us what do we do then? We become smarter and wiser at handling our down times. Surely down times will come but what matters is what we do with those times. How best we handle the challenges that come our way determines how productive we will be. The thing is, the journey of challenges helps us to build strength of character but how do we move from our place of being disappointed, discouraged and passionless to achieving our purpose despite the bend in time?

Board, School, Immediately, Soon, Equal, In The Future

TALKING IT OUT;

One of the best ways to get back on your feet after you have experienced a bend in time is to talk it out with your best confidant. It’s not always easy to talk about how we are feeling when we are going through the tough challenging times because we believe no one understands how we feel and we usually lack the right words to express what we are feeling. But the truth is, talking it out helps a lot; it helps us see better, clearer and it helps us deal with the pain of it. Wallowing alone doesn’t help you. You only lose precious time that would have been productive.

GIVE YOUR SELF TIME TO GRIEVE THE LOSS

You don’t have to lose someone to grieve. We don’t grieve only when people die, but also in some extreme circumstances which had made us lose things that we had put so much energy, time and resources into or even relationships that we always thought will come out in the best of conditions but ended up turning out to be the worst despite our efforts to make them work.

What do you do? It’s good to have a good cry in your closet, it relieves you instead of having so much pent up emotions that will be detrimental when you least expect them. Bottling up grief and pain never helps, but crying, weeping and even keen groaning deals with the emotional outburst. When you are done in your closet, wipe your tears have a good bath, dress in your comfortable clothes, if it’s possible give yourself a little treat of food or chocolate or just going out by yourself leaving your pain at the doorstep. After the treat, sit down and review your perspectives and ideologies.

REVIEW YOUR PERSPECTIVE

After your personal down time out, sit down and evaluate everything from beginning to end without sentiments, looking out for loop holes that could have existed and you didn’t notice because of the pressure of everything. If possible seek for extra pairs of eyes and minds in the form of friends, people you trust to give you the undiluted truth. Our perspectives and ideologies affect the results of the things we do a whole lot, therefore our Mindset matters. Be open to ideas and advice from those you love, put down new ways to approach the problem or challenges to getter better results this time around.

SEE CHALLENGES AS NEW DOORS

Train your mind to see challenges as new doors instead of impenetrable walls, to see them as bends not ends. Train your mind to see those obvious downfalls and downtimes to produce more glorious result. How you see your challenges count.

HAVE NO ATTACHMENT TO THINGS

Learn not to have attachments to things that are temporal and will perish with its using. Learn to let go of toxic relationships no matter how long you have deposited in the relationship. Learn to let go, to stop looking at a closed door instead put your energy into walking through the new door of opportunities that your challenges has presented.

USE YOUR SECRET PLACE

The secret place! Yea, I call it the secret place because it’s for you and you alone. It’s a place where you go away to commune with your maker. It’s a place of prayer. No man who uses his secret place effectively lacks in ideas and workable plans. Deep things are revealed there, in your quiet time of meditation and away from the noise and ruckus of the world around you. You chose your secret place and time. Find out what works best for you.

BE WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE

Associate with the right people. If you know where you are going to then you will walk with people who are going the same way. Iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend (proverbs 27:17). The company you keep affects the time and results of your purpose.

FEED YOURSELF THE RIGHT INFORMATION

Renew your mind daily with the right information that will guide you on your path to achieving purpose and results from each project. Seek counsel from godly mentors. When you get knowledge, apply them. Information without application is wasted.

If you have been motivated, please click the “follow” button and subscribe to my newsletter.

 

 

GENDER INEQUALITY (viewpoints)

What do you think about gender inequality? by Doug Dingus https://www.quora.com/What-do-you-think-about-gender-inequality/answer/Doug-Dingus?share=94e62cb5&srid=3U5uF

Its because we dont understand the uniqueness of each gender thats why one gender treats the other with superiority or the society victimizes the female gender. Everyone should be treated with a sense of humanity and the individuality of each gender should be appreciated. We should learn to understand what we dont “understand” instead of abusing it.images (6).jpg

HEALTH SENSITIZATION AT KABAWA COMMUNITY, LOKOJA, KOGI STATE: A COMMUNITY DEVELOPMENT SERVICE PROJECT INITIATED BY MISS OYEBIMPE OLOFIN TAGGED “LIFE IS SWEET, LIVE HEALTHY”

Source: HEALTH SENSITIZATION AT KABAWA COMMUNITY, LOKOJA, KOGI STATE: A COMMUNITY DEVELOPMENT SERVICE PROJECT INITIATED BY MISS OYEBIMPE OLOFIN TAGGED “LIFE IS SWEET, LIVE HEALTHY”

GOD GIVES AND TAKE AWAY. 

Abraham love ministry

Does God give and take away?

Yes He does!

God gives us Grace and He takes away our sin!

God gives us His Righteousness and takes away our unrighteousness

God gives us His Peace and He takes away our sorrow.

God gives us His love and takes away our heart of stone.

God gives us His blessings and takes away our curse.

God gives us healing and takes away our sickness.

God gives us His joy and takes away our depression.

God gives us a new nature created in Christ and takes away our old nature created in Adam.

Remember … what Jesus said?

The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.

John 10:10

Many will quickly point to Job and say ” yes, but what about Job?”…

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